Rose Petals on the Floor

So as I said before I was going to be flexing my creative muscles on here and well a friend of mine had a really really shitty day.  For some unknown reason she likes when I write so I am writing this little snippet for her in hopes that it helps her end her day on a better note than she started it.

So the writing prompt that I picked was "Write about rose petals strewn on the floor."  Instead of taking that to the obvious, overly done and overly sentimental romantic scene, this is what I came up with instead.  Enjoy!

     Detective Chris Robinson made his way towards Katy's apartment.  Stopping short of the door way, he noticed that the door was slightly ajar.  Chris unholstered his Beretta and approached with caution.  He knew there was no way that Katy would leave her door open on purpose, she was way to cautious of a girl to do that.  Bracing himself for what was to come, he pushed open the door and announced his presence, "HPD!  Katy are you ok?"  The stillness of the apartment coupled with the scene that lay before him chilled him and filled his soul with dread.  His feet crunched the glass as he made his way into the room.  Bright red rose petals, glass, water, and blood were strewn across the floor.  Stepping carefully, he continued to check the apartment.  Empty, completely empty.  Grabbing his radio to call in the report and request CSI, Chris turned back and saw what he had missed as he came in, a bloody hand print on the door frame as if someone was trying to keep from being dragged out the door.  His hope now was that he would find Katy in time.

Flexing My Creativity

     So I have this board on Pinterest that is called "I like to think I am a writer" and on it I pin a variety of writing generated pins.  Well, during the course of developing this board I found a fellow pinner that pins writing prompts to help writers flex their creativity.  So this is my first attempt at one of these prompts.  I am going to post some of these from time to time (maybe more than just time to time) and I am going to use them to flesh out characters for my novel.  So, if you have read the beginnings of my novel you will recognize some of the characters that may appear in these from time to time.  I doubt these scenes will make it into the novel, so you can view it as a personal inside into a character.

     Here is my writing prompt:  Your protagonist (the original prompt was for antagonist but I am doing protagonist first) is alone.  A favorite piece of music plays in the background.  What is it?  Why is it so special?..... here goes nothing....


     Katy sits, legs folded under her, snuggled into her sofa.  Her mug of tea growing cold in her hand as she watches the light spring rain slowly soak the city.  Lost in her inner dialogue she knows what she needs to do.  Her gut is telling her the direction to go but her head doesn't want to follow.  Sighing, she sits her now cold mug of tea on the table and continues to contemplate.  Suddenly the music that has filled her background but not her mind registers.  The familiar strains of "The Chair" fill her mind and flood her with memories.  Getting up and walking over to the radio, Katy picks up her parents wedding picture and turns up the song.  How many times did she watch as her Mom's hand disappeared into her Dad's as they headed to a dance floor?  It didn't matter where they were, if this song came on her Dad would pull her Mom close and dance with her.  More often than not he would sing the words to her softly in her ear.  Katy smiled as she recalled watching her Dad going up to request this song at a family wedding and then pulling her Mom to the dance floor.  It was always so obvious the love they had for each other, whenever they danced together.  She knew her Mom loved George Strait but she never knew the special connection that they had to this song in particular.  Guess I will never know now, she thought to herself.  As the song ended, Katy looked back down and the picture and realized that her head had finally got on board with her gut.  She knew what she had to do.

     Writing prompt #2 --- Your antagonist is alone.  A significant (yeah I know I changed it again) piece of music plays in the background.  What is it?  Why is it so special?

     Sitting in his car outside of Katy's apartment, he watched the rain and wondered how much she had figured out.  He knew she was getting close but how much had the bitch figured out?  Looking up, he wondered if she would be coming out anytime soon.  Not sure how much longer I can sit here without being noticed.  Suddenly "The Chair" fills his car and his anger fills him.  He despised this song so much.  How many times did he watch their sickening displays of love?  Oh sure they loved each other but they sure didn't give a shit about him.  That was something that had proven time and time again.  Gripping the steering wheel, he barely contained the rage that engulfed him as he remembered that last night.  They had been so smug but he had shown them.  The surprise and terror in their eyes as he snuffed out their life was like a balm to his soul.  Reaching over he turned off the radio and got out of his car.  Enough of this sitting and waiting, if she won't come to me I will go to her.

Oh No....It's The "R" Word

That's right, I am going to talk about that dirty R word....Religion.  Now before you just click off of this hear me out.  I am not going to try to convert you or unconvert you (whichever the case might be for you). BUT I do want to write about something that irks me.  So here it goes.  I am a Christian.  I have very strong faith and some rather traditional views on things.  This may surprise some people but that is the truth.  I don't normally discuss religion because I understand that everyone has their own opinion and often their view doesn't match mine.  I equate religion with politics in that way.  With that being said, I also think that everyone is free to believe or worship in their own way.  I am not a regular church goer.  I could lie and say that I am at church every weekend but I am not.  I am not even a CEO (Christmas Easter Only).  I go when I can and I usually enjoy it when I go. 

So here is the issue.  I started practicing/participating Lent in college.  If you had read my previous blog, then you know that I started as a result of conversations with Kelly.  Every year I give something up.  I do this because it helps me connect with my faith.  I personally don't feel like you have to be any particular religion to do this, you just have to have the desire.  What bothers me is how incredulous people become when they find out that I do Lent and I am not Catholic.  Ummmm, why is this so incredible to you and more importantly why is this so important to you?  I have been questioned about this endlessly and it seems like no matter what I say, people just form their own opinion about my motives.  I don't feel like I have to explain and justify my practices but people seem to feel like it is their business.  Why is this?  Why do people feel like they need to be involved in another person's faith or spirituality?  Faith and spirituality are something that is usually deeply personal to a person but for some reason people seem to think it is open season to question and judge.

Now I could understand better if I was using my faith, religion, or spirituality to judge others but I don't.  I actually don't usually discuss it with people.  It isn't because I am ashamed to be a Christian but because I just don't feel the need to wave it around like it makes me better.  I don't know.  Maybe nothing I am typing here makes sense but I just don't get it.  Why is it so hard to live and let live?  Why is it so hard to believe that not everything about a person is your business?  Maybe that sounds harsh but it is true.  So I don't know, I guess I will just continue to do what I do and try and ignore everything else.  It just amazes me how people will judge you for having faith or not having faith.  They will judge you for practicing or not practicing.  They will just judge you and in the end that is their problem and not yours.

For Kelly

     I am not sure exactly why but Kelly has been on my mind so much lately.  Perhaps it is Valentine's Day or Lent or her upcoming birthday but I just keep thinking of all of the memories I have of her.  I met Kelly in 1997 at Gibbs House at Sam Houston.  She was my suitemate and before long became my friend.  We were both CJ majors, she was a grad student and I was an undergrad, and we used that to form a bond.  Kelly was that friend, you know, the one that was a little more socially conscious, a little more politically conscious, and compared to the rest of us, a lot more responsible.  We met after her, as she called it, wild days.  The Kelly I knew was a loving, smart, funny, supportive, dedicated, and loyal friend.  If you were lucky enough to be allowed to get to know the real Kelly then you had the privilege of getting a genuine friend.  I said that Valentine's Day reminds me of Kelly and it does.  I remember having conversations with her about Valentine's Day and consumerism.  I had never seen it that way.  Kelly's philosophy was we should let those we know what they mean to us everyday and not just because it was some preset, pre-programmed consumer holiday.  And you know what, she was right.  However, she followed this up by giving us all "non-Valentine's Day gifts" on Valentine's Day.  Kelly was funny like that. 

     Lent reminds me of Kelly because she was the first non-Catholic person I have ever met that participated in Lent.  When we talked about it, she told me that with everything that Jesus had done to redeem her soul, the least she could do was give up something (usually bread) for Lent.  Ahhh, bread, it is strange how something like that can remind you of a person but bread certainly reminds me of Kelly.  Well, bread and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray butter.  I have never met a person that loved bread as much as Kelly.  It was comical to see her make her run to Wally World (Walmart for those that don't know) at just the right time to get that hot, fresh French bread.  And yes, she knew just when they put out the fresh baked bread.  With her ever ready bottle of spray butter, she was a happy girl.

     As I write this, I am flooded with other memories and images of Kelly.  Shopping with her at the Salvation Army as she prepared for prison guard boot camp, sitting next to her at church on Easter Sunday, laughing with her at my sister's apartment, going with her to pick up her first new car, dragging her to a Garth Brooks concert with me, hugging her as we both cried for a beloved professor that had lost his son, sitting next to her on the front steps of Gibbs House and making fun of the sorority girls, going with her to donate her old car to the local homeless shelter, laughing as she organized the Sonic happy hour run, talking to her late into the night about life and family.  I really could just go on and on.  Because of Kelly I did learn to look at life differently.  I learned to have a little more faith in myself.  I learned to love those around me more (or maybe to just show it more).  I learned to be more socially conscious.  I think I learned to be a better person because of Kelly. 
    
     I wish that we had stayed in better contact after I graduated but as so often happens with college friends, time and distance separated us and life happened.  One of the last times I saw her was the day she graduated with her Masters degree.  We kept in sporadic touch and we had even talked about trying to see each other this summer when I made a trip to the east coast but now that won't happen.  I am left with my memories of Kelly and that will have to do for now.  I know that I will see her again but for now I will keep her memory alive in my own way.  I will continue my Lent tradition (which I started in college because of her).  I will add bread to what I give up every year in her honor.  I will tell those I love that I love them and not just because it is Valentine's Day.  I will make a wish and say a prayer for her on her birthday (which happens to be the day before mine).  I will follow my dreams and do my best to be a better person because I know that she would want that for me.

     So to any of Kelly's family or friends that may read this, I extend my love and sympathy.  Her life and her memory mean something still.  Kelly, you made a difference in this world and in my life, more than I think you will every know.  My only regret is that I didn't get to tell you that.  I love you and I miss you my sweet friend. 

Until we meet again~
Lisa

Ever Have One of THOSE Days?

You know the days where you don't want to be bothered with anyone or anything?  Seriously, Thursday was that day.  I woke up and I didn't want to get up.  I didn't want to go to work and I CERTAINLY DID NOT WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL.  I didn't want to see anyone and I didn't want to talk to anyone.  I wanted to stay in my bed and do absolutely nothing.  And before any smartass asks, there was no depression, pms, bad weather, or anything involved.  I just wanted to opt out of the day.  I didn't of course, I got up and got ready and went to school.

Now these feelings were intensified because I wasn't prepared for the day.  I had fallen asleep the night before and hadn't finished my homework.  So after I got to school I spent my free moments before my first class finishing an assignment that was due that day and trying to read some of what I had neglected the night before but my heart was not in it.  I finished the assignment but I am sure I could have done it better.  My first class is relatively "easy" when compared with the other two classes I am taking so it wasn't so bad.  However, my second class and especially my third class, I spent a good portion of it staring at the professor like a stupid person because my brain was not computing what was coming out of his mouth.  I could hear and see what was going on but I was not understanding a damn thing and I most certainly was not retaining anything that was being said.  I kept looking around the class and thinking am I the only one that is hopelessly confused.  It appeared that I was and that didn't help my mood.  *sigh*  I sucked it up and made it through all three classes and then headed to work but I swear I am not sure that I got anything done while I was there either.  It was bad.  Maybe waking up feeling that way is God's way of saying keep your butt in bed.  I wish I was still the irresponsible girl from college all those years ago that would have just chunked Thursday the finger and gone back to sleep but I'm not. 

SO what did I do?  I made it through with minimal damage.  I came home (and by this time the weather sucked balls) and I had hot chocolate and got in my bed.  Friday was a good day.  I guess we have to just make it through those days and count our blessings (well I do) that those days are few and far between because frankly my gpa can not take many days like that this semester.

See this is why we don't call them resolutions!

Yup so if anyone is actually keeping track of what I said in my last blog then you realize that I have already "broken" one of my goals for this year...well actually two.  But you know that is how life works.  This is why I don't call these things resolutions.  I know many people make resolutions and then beat themselves up or get completely derailed when they don't stick with it.  However, in all of the infinite wisdom that I have gained in the last couple of years I have realized that in order to succeed I can't beat myself up for every little thing that doesn't go as planned.  So yup I confess I didn't blog last week and I didn't get an hour of exercise in either.  I could pile up the excuses about why I didn't do those things but they would be just that excuses.  What I have done is put it behind me and moved on.  I started logging my food again this week and it feels good to do that....almost like I am getting my life back in order.  I started school this week too and man oh man it is going to be a doozy of a semester.  So I am pretty sure that you guys (well if there are any "you guys" reading this) will probably get a blog or two or twenty dealing with school problems and also ideas that carry over from school onto this blog.  I will spend the next three and a half months with my nose stuck in a book and more than likely my butt parked in a library chair.  I have two research classes and with those two classes come two very long papers that I have to write...in addition to required blogging, papers, tests, and well all the super fun reading that goes with being an English and History major at a four year university.  I will also sometime in the very very near future be applying to grad school and then sweating out the answer on that one.  So needless to say it will be a long but hopefully interesting spring.

SO back to the whole resolutions thing, since I have clearly wandered....I think the most important thing for success is to never lose sight of the end goal.  That is what I am applying to school and this semester and that is what I am applying to several of my year long goals.  I have an end in sight for them and even if I misstep along the way I can still get to where I want and need to be.  I just have to be kind to myself (after all who else will do it?) and remember the ultimate goal.  These aren't things that are whim decisions these are goals that will help me be a better me.  So on that note I will bid y'all adieu and hit the books.  I mean hell in three and a half months I will have TWO diplomas in my hand and I want a kick ass gpa to go right along with them!

New Year blah blah blah

No this isn't one of those YAY! new year new me blogs.  This isn't to bash people that do the new year new me thing but I have found that making the stereotypical resolutions just doesn't work for me.  I do have some things that I want to work on this year but I don't consider them resolutions...instead they are goals for the year.  This may just be splitting hairs but I think resolutions are usually open-ended and don't give true and believable time frames for these achievement.  So in the end they don't really work....well not for me anyway. So here it goes....in no particular order....these are some of the goals that I have for myself for this year.  I am offering them up to the internet gods and whoever happens to read them.  I will blog (probably not frequently enough) on my success or failures regarding these goals.

1.  Lose 100 lbs by 12/31/2014 - I know this is a completely achievable goal but I will probably break it down into smaller shorter goals that will help keep me motivated.

2.  Attend church at least once a month.  I know I know I should go every Sunday but I think this is a more reasonable and achievable goal for me.  So baby steps towards salvation.

3.  Make and keep one girl's night a month.  I have a tendency to ignore my friends during school and I need these nights out to decompress and just feel normal.

4.  Exercise for at least one hour a week.  Considering that I have not been exercising at all this won't be the easiest to keep but it is important to achieving #1.

5.  Go to Memphis and visit my Dad and bonus Mom once before June and one more time before December 31st.

6.  Plan and take a vacation.  The plan is for a road trip in May or June and hopefully that will work out.

7.  Get at least a 3.5 GPA for my final semester of undergrad studies at UofH.

8.  Family date/game night once a month.  Just like my friends, my family usually get the shaft during school...sooooo they should get equal billing.

9.  Blog at least once a week.

10.  Finish my book by September 1, 2014.

There are a couple of others but these are the main goals for me.  Like I said I will set mini goals within some of these larger goals but this is it.  So they are out there and I can't take them back.  Now I just have to get on the ball and start working towards them.  So if you are reading this...what are your goals for 2014?