Monday, March 24, 2014

Life or Death and a Change of Heart

When I started at the criminal justice program at Sam Houston State University in 1996, I was a definite supporter of the death penalty.  Someone close to me had lost two people she loved in a extremely brutal manner and it had solidified my belief that the death penalty was right and it was just.  I also had a rather naive belief that the justice system was fair and just.  Well, what do you expect I was young.  Through my studies my eyes were opened to truths and stories that I had been woefully unaware of for most of my life.  Now don't get me wrong, I know that our system is flawed but I do think that it is better than so many other so called justice systems out there.  I believe that our system works, for the most part and that the vast majority of the time it is guilty people that get convicted.  However, there in lies the problem...the vast majority of the time and not all the time because like it or not there are innocent people that end up in prison.  The fact is that if you are poor and a minority you are far more likely to be convicted of a crime you are charged with, innocent or guilty.  Now when you translate this into deciding death or life, then you have to stop and think for a bit.

I honestly do wish there was a fool proof way to know that the person convicted is actually guilty but there isn't and since that is the case then I had to rethink my support of the death penalty.  When I was a blind believer in the death penalty I was also a believer that the death penalty was a deterrent and I labored under the delusion that it was cheaper.  HOWEVER, these two justifications for the death penalty are far from being true.  The death penalty is not a deterrent for crime and there have been times when it has actually made the chain of events worse.  Also the cheaper part is total bs.  It is far more expensive to execute someone that it is to put them in prison for life. There were a couple of other events that happened while I was in college that helped to change my mind.  While I was at Sam, Karla Faye Tucker was scheduled for execution.  Now, I had read the book that detailed her crime and let me tell you, if there was ever a poster child for someone that "deserved" the death penalty then she was the girl.  Her crimes were horrific.  Seriously, I am not overstating this, it was horrific.  There was much debate about why she should or shouldn't be executed and I was firmly of the mind that she should be executed.  I knew that she was now clean and that she had been saved and I didn't doubt and still don't that this was genuine.  I hope for her sake that she had found salvation.  So, like so many other CJ students when the day came for her execution I went to the prison and joined the gathering outside.  Let me tell you something, what I saw that day disturbed me to my core.  I understand that she had committed horrific murders and I felt that the death penalty was the just punishment for her crime but I don't think any one's death is a reason to celebrate.  I don't think that death is a reason to throw a kegger and that is what I saw that day.  People laughing, cheering, and drinking like it was a frat party.  It was a disgusting display of humanity, or lack there of.  I walked away from that experience changed. 

The event that really sealed the deal for me was stepping foot in the death chamber.  As part of my criminal justice fraternity we were able to tour several prisons in and around Huntsville.  Well I happened to go on the tour for the Walls Unit.  This is the unit that is right down the street from campus and while the actual prison isn't high security it does house the death chamber.  About a week before the prisoner is to be executed they are transported to this unit and housed in a cell about (I suck as distances) 100 feet from the actual death chamber.  So as part of our tour we saw all of the different parts of the prison and learned the history.  The very last stop was this last stop death row and the death chamber.  Before entering the death chamber, the guard told us that some of us may not be able to stay in there and that was not uncommon.  He told us to leave and just wait outside for them and then he lead us in.  Now many in my group were excited to see it and most were not bothered by being in the room.  However, as soon as we were lead in it was like a weight settled around me.  I stood as far back from the bed they strap the inmate to as I could and listened to the guard explain the process.  Standing there and thinking about all of the people that had died in that room was just a lot to take in.  Death and evil were as physical of a presence in that room as the students standing there.  It didn't take long before I was overwhelmed and knew that I couldn't stay.  There were three of us I think that had to leave and all of us had felt the same way.  I can still remember the feeling that there were evil souls in that room with us.  It may sound crazy to some but until you stand there you just can't understand.  Leaving the prison that day, I began to rethink more than ever my belief in the death penalty.

My change of opinion and heart had been a gradual thing and it really was the culmination of learning and events that changed my mind but it did.  I stop and think now and I don't feel like I was put on this earth to judge who should live and who should die.  I also feel like those that support the death penalty should admit that it is retribution that they are seeking.  The problem with this is that retribution is not supposed to be a part of our justice system.  Fact is our justice system is flawed.  I don't think it is hopelessly flawed but it is flawed enough that I could not send a person to death row.  There are far too many factors that skew the system and justice along the way that I think it is far better to house someone for life than to administer our personal retribution. 

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